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Violence has no place at home

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Published Date: 30 April 2007
By JENNIFER VEITCH
THERE was a defining moment in her early career when Helen Hughes realised just how sheltered her own life had been. As a 22-year-old not long out of law school, one of her first clients was a woman who had been told the exact time - and the precise, graphic nature - of the assault she could expect from her husband that night.
"It was a Friday and he had told her, 'Tonight at nine o'clock, I am going to try and strangle you and then I am going to stub out a cigarette on you,'" recalls Hughes, who was horrified that her client decided to go home to face such an ordeal.

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1

citizen smith,

Midlothian 30/04/2007 00:22:47

The laws in this counrty are an ass, as are the sentences handed out, we have all heard it on the telly, the promisses to get tough on crime, but the harsh reality is, it seldom happens, build more jails if we need them, there's plenty manpower within them, put them to work, and when we say lets get tough on crime, lets actually mean it, wake up and smell the coffee, it's the system that needs tweeking and sorting. And the yobs that rule the streets need to feel the boot on the backside for doing wrong, far to much emphasis on the criminals right, well we need to sort that as well, it's the victims rights we should be concerned about, coming back to the article, domestic abuse in any shape or form is unacceptablle, as is any abuse.

2

Ellis,

Devon 30/04/2007 01:17:58

Domestic abuse, according to hundreds of studies from around the world and including Britain, affects men and women in equal numbers. Yet the government has suppressed these facts and focused only on female victims. This means that where women have 500 refuges supported by the government, males have no where to go with their children when they are attacked. This is sexist and wrong and we petition the prime minister to end this practice of discrimination by making services and funds available to protect both genders.

Domestic Violence is a social issue, not a gender problem. It will never be reduced until both sides of the problem are acknowledged and addressed by those who claim to be concerned about it.

The persistent claim that the overwhelming majority of victims of domestic violence are women is not supported by any impartial research, either in the UK or elsewhere. The results of all gender-neutral studies of domestic violence in couple relationships, published to date, indicate that there is an almost equal numerical culpability between men and women.

In spite of mounting evidence the issue of women's violence has been discounted or ignored by the media, law enforcement agencies and the social services. Furthermore, there is reason to be alarmed when our understanding of family violence, policy making and allocation of scarce resources has been significantly shaped without regard to an abundance of evidence showing that family violence as a social phenomenon is not gender-specific. This clearly has important implications for research, education funding and social policy.

The technique of collecting data from Women's Aid type groups is misleading the public about domestic violence because they use surveys that show higher rates of men as aggressors based on National Crime Survey data or official law-enforcement records, but these studies are flawed methodologically because the samples are not representative and because men are less

3

Jim A,

30/04/2007 04:26:29

#3 Dragonhead, good to see your in your usual ass kicking form mate ;-)

4

Hjalmar52,

Canada 30/04/2007 05:16:10

Just a word for the criminal element.. seems they are NECESSARY in our society to give employment to all the law-enforcement ppl (police, lawyers, judges, prison guards, plus all the support personnel) .. it's actually a HUGE industry all made possible by law-breakers.. there are also constantly new laws being legislated to raise fines and keep the jails full.. lawyers earn FAR MORE than doctors, dentists, nurses, emergency workers (firemen, ambulance, police) and others who SAVE LIVES.. of course they still trail far behind sports stars, entertainers (singers, actors, dancers), and CEOs.. what in the world has happened to our sense of VALUE?!! .. i suppose in the same vain that TERRORISTS are necessary to give the armed forces, CIA, FBI, Homeland Security "raison d'etre" (sure is lucky we have "peacekeepers").. is it true that 60% of USA's GNP is military supplies, armament, munitions, and WMDs? Sort of explains why the Americans are always starting a war somewhere on the globe......

5

somerferg,

oz 30/04/2007 06:15:12

#2 I would like to sight your sources when you state that domestic violence affects women and men equally??

6

Reverend Beat-Man,

30/04/2007 08:52:26

#2 Absolutely right.

7

SuzieC,

Hebrides 30/04/2007 09:39:35

#2 I'm surprised by your assertion about the evidence suggesting that domestic violence affects men and women equally. From 1974 until 1994 when I retired, I worked as a family lawyer, dealing mainly with cases of domestic abuse. During that time I witnessed years of bruises, black eyes, cut lips, cigarette burns, broken teeth etc. I also did a research MSc on the topic, which included a survey of the literature at the time, worldwide.

In all the hundreds of cases I dealt with over those twenty years, the perpetrators were men, the victims women. In one instance, the police brought a woman straight to my office in her nightdress because the husband refused to let her get dressed. In another, the husband, who was waving a chainsaw in front of his wife's face, turned it on the police (called by a neighbour, worried by the screams). In all those years, one male client complained that his wife had hit him on the head with a rolling pin.

Most women are physically less strong than even the smallest man and simply cannot inflict such injuries, nor do they indulge in the hours of brutal assault suffered by some of my clients.

In the '70s, it was the women and their children who needed the refuges and set about sourcing funding and buildings and set them up. Whenever any one asked me, what about refuges for men, my reply is simply that if they needed them they would have set them up by now.

8

Reverend Beat-Man,

30/04/2007 10:01:58

http://www.mankind.org.uk/The%20A-Z%20of%20Dom.pdf

9

Masque,

30/04/2007 10:40:38

I have two words on domestic violence ..... ZERO TOLERANCE!!!

10

Boy Wonder,

30/04/2007 10:51:14

#10. Absolutely spot on, Masque. I saw too much of wife-beating husbands as I was growing up. Zero Tolerance is the best approach.

I note also that the comments in the "Piano Man" article have all been withdrawn. Frankly, I'm not surprised with homophobic trolls posting things we don't need to see, or the level of ignorance displayed by some posters when attempting to discuss gay issues.

11

Scottish Father's Rights Organisation,

30/04/2007 13:33:33

Quote: "if this was my daughter or my sister, what is the level of service I would want them to get?"

Helen Hughes Chair of the "FAMILY" Law Association, realises how many "women" need help NOT how many "men and women" need help.

I now understand why I received such a bland and unhelpful response from her when asking for details and her views on Family Courts in Scotland.

12

ttfn,

Berkshire 30/04/2007 15:32:55

We have got to have zero tollerance for both sexes. I am surprised to see so much debate about women v men. Lets just face the facts: it is happening to both and it must not.

I am a male and I have experienced DV from my wife (x2b soon) - both physical and mental. It happens, it really does and I am not the only male out there. The kids often witness or get caught in this. Not acceptable.

I am very surprised to see such a one sided article from someone heading up what should be an independent family caring organisation.

13

I am Beaten Man,

berkshire 30/04/2007 15:51:38

I understand the need for tougher sentences for domestic violence but this ladies opinion is one sided. I have been stabbed, attacked whilst a sleep and had numerous items of household items thrown at me. what can i do report it to the police and get laughed at. i do wish that this can be seen from both sides and once had to take my ex-partner to hospital when she broke her arm hitting me and got looked at as if i was at fault and she gets given a leaflet about domestic violence

14

Dave From Barra,

Western Isles 30/04/2007 19:23:11

Well, I can say I was also beaten mentally and physically by a woman too several years ago. It was an abusive relationship. Had nobody to turn to really as they didn't believe a 6'2" well built guy that a 5'4" women could do that. It's amazing what happens behind closed doors y'know which is why I'm such an ardant MASCULINIST.

However, it hasn't stopped me finding love again and the amazing woman I'm with renewed my faith in the female of the species. D'you know ow she did that? Coz she is a normal woman that doesn't get sucked into this feminist, pc, women rule bullsh*t. Turns out there are a lot of normal women out there who believe feminists are now doing more harm than good for women kind and men kind too and society in general.

15

Homo Sapiens,

30/04/2007 20:01:35

As a male victim of Domestic Violence (both Physical and emotional), I agree that it is a major issue that should receive zero tolerance from society and the authorities. This is not a gender issue! Much greater emphasis has to be placed on preventing women's aggression against men and Children.

When I was battered by my ex, who also physically abused out children, and I complained, first to GP, then SS, and finally to Police, each time I complained, I got a very disinterested reaction. The Police said that they would come and file a report. They never came. When in A&E with a gash to my forehead, I was asked how it happened. I told them that I was attacked by my wife. I was greeted with silence and disbelief. I asked if I could file a complaint, there and whether they would call the police (to avoid having our children witness this), I was told that I will have to go to the police station. At the Police station I was told to go home and "sleep over it"... There was no where to go, and nowhere to seek help.

It is shameful that the Head of the Family Law Association will have such one sided views. It is well documented both with statistics (UK Police CRime Reports), as well as studies that women are as likely as men to be violent towards their partners. It is also well docuemtned that 65% of child abuse is committed by mothers, and only 5% by biological fathers! Yet Women's Aid, continue to distort the facts, and continue to receive government funding and support from the media, while the truth is ignored, and male victims, and children of DV are ignored. Shame on Ms. Hughes, she is not fit to represent an organisation which should not discriminate!

16

Ray Barry,

Wolverhampton 01/05/2007 08:18:22

I, too, am a male victim of domestic violence. I am also a candidate in the Holyrood elections. Some years ago, after splitting up with a girlfriend, she chased me along the street with a carving knife, trying to stab me. When I reached the police station and told them, they took no action; they did not even talk to her about it, and one officer even found the incident amusing. There is overwhelming evidence that there are as many male as female victims of domestic violence, but I can well understand why men do not report it.

In 2005, Womens Aid issued a misleading report on domestic violence, calculated to prevent legislation at Westminster which would have introduced a legal presumption that good fathers should be accorded automatic rights of contact with their children. The report was discredited both by the Conservative spokesman in the Westminster debate, and by the senior Family Law judge, Lord Justice Wall. In spite of this, Helen Hughes publicly continues her support for Women's Aid, adding that more public funding is needed to pay lawyers who are protecting abused women. Most significantly, she chooses to voice this at election time.

Why would this be? Because she has the interests of women and children at heart, or to ensure she and her colleagues continue to grow fat on the fall-out from family breakdown?

Unscrupulous lawyers in the Family Law Association which Helen Hughes chairs routinely encourage female clients to make false allegations of domestic violence against their husbands in order ensure they win the house and children in the Family Law lottery. By the time the allegation is proved to be false, it is too late to put right the harm done to the dad's relationship with his children, no action is taken concerning the malicious allegation, and the lawyer is happy, having made a tidy packet out of the litigation he seeded.

Family Law is a multi-billion pound industry, and Helen Hughes is a clever business-woman.

Ray

17

Steve21,

NW England 01/05/2007 09:39:05

When I told my partner some years ago we couldn't going on living together, I thought we were making amicable arrangements for splitting up.

A few weeks later she disappeared, taking our daughter, I had no idea where she was. Months later I found she had gone to a women's refuge, claiming to be a victim of abuse from me, and also that I sexually abused our daughter.

After years in the courts, I now have reasonable access to my daughter and all her claims have either been shown to be lies or wild exagerations. But those years have seen my income drop to nothing, and my life effectively destroyed while I struggle to come to terms with being labelled a child abuser.

I am the 'victim' of abuse here. She gets off scot free, has a council house, control of our daughter, money from me and all the benefits she wants.

The DV statistics, of course, don't follow through. They still show a female victim and male perpetrator. How many tens of thousands of pounds of money has been wasted? How many resources that should have gone to real victims were spent on her? How many well intentioned people were misled into thinking they were doing a good deed on her behalf?

Even if just 10% of DV perpetrators are like my ex, and are regarded as victims by the system, then this skews the entire gender ratio by 20%.

Does anyone in the DV system care? It seems not.


 

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