IT'S all in the mind. Between the lugs. The question on every dog and cat's lips – is it safe to come out from under the bed yet? To my ears the Fireworks bangs this year were louder than ever. If your cat or dog could talk they'd agree with me 500 per cent.
Last time I heard bangs that loud was in a Lancaster over the steel works at Essen. Or was it at El Alamein?
You must ask the Bank of Scotland, does it HAVE to be that loud? There was a repeat salvo from the Castle next night which would delight g
rown men in their second childhood, but children up to seven or so shouldn't have been subjected to this louder, louder, louder crash-bang-wallop.
Our cocker spaniels were never best pleased, I can tell you. So next time you're in the HBOS, complain over the counter. How insensitive can they get? You might ask the same about your account while you're at it. Ask if they'll help pay for your vet's fees.
Touch of bad luck You could excuse Shorof Uddin for being touchy. He opens a posh new Indian-style restaurant at Goldenacre called In Touch and just weeks later it's robbed and vandalised.
Then last Friday around 9pm an outside electrical fault caused enough smoke inside to summon the fire brigade and turn 60 or so diners into the street.
"We gave them drinks before sending them home," says Shorof, "but we opened for business as usual next day. Scottish Power and the fire people were really efficient but I'm thinking there's a jinx on In Touch."
My old trousers I've decided to do a Prince Philip (who's got his Savile Row cutter modernising a favourite pair of trousers he had made 50 years ago) and have my bespoke tailor bring some of my vintage strides up to date.
He'll have problems dealing with the pleated waists and 14-inch bottoms. Bottoms that narrow really did enhance the white socks and blue suedes.
Afterwords . . . . . John Hurt cheers us up with: "No-one is an ogre to themselves. No-one is completely out of love with the idea of who they are, other than those who feel compelled to end their lives."
The full article contains 384 words and appears in Edinburgh Evening News newspaper.
