WHAT'S this, Gibson talking mince again? Somerfield wanted to impress, and they did. The venue they'd chosen, the subterranean Caves in Niddry Street, verily heightened the impression. A fitting place for the grocer, in their Focus on Scotland campaign, to flaunt their Scottish product and suppliers.
A selection from their thousand regional products and some of their 100 suppliers were on hand to talk the talk. Stats to stagger . . . Somerfield have 120 stores this side of the Border and 9000 staff service 1.3 million customers. The plan is to op
en another 250 stores by 2010.
Good golly and would I like to meet the butcher? Indeed yes because his wares included mince. Wasn't there alarmist talk of mince, as we know it, vanishing from the shelves with dire implications? Fitba' pies for a start.
"Don't panic," said this butcher. "Somerfield shift a hundred tons of mince weekly UK-wide, with customers in Scotland consuming 25 tons. Your mince, as you know it, will stay safe with us."
The chain pledged ongoing significant backing for its partner charity, Macmillan Cancer Support. So nobody was caving in after all.
Budget to budge? Will the budget for Edinburgh's trams overrun? The perpetrators – surprise, surprise – have discovered a "black hole" in their spend. First of many? Anyway, ring Ladbrokes right away. The odds on their budget burgeoning are surely shortening by the day.
Makes me sick Prescott, pass us the sickbags. Pul-eese! Closet bulimic Prezza's confession that he grabbed any old grub any time of day is perfectly timed. Makes your stomach churn.
It's to try to remove the stigma of eating disorder, bleats the bloated blusterer. No it isn't. It's to try to boost sales of your forthcoming autobiog (free sickbag with every copy). Do you think we're daft, big man? Back to the trough with you.
Afterwords . . . . . "It's important not to get obsessed about age because it's a game you're going to lose. I place an importance on remembering not to take myself too seriously."Madonna talking. Or do we say Lady Madonna?
The full article contains 350 words and appears in Edinburgh Evening News newspaper.
