First duck houses … now it's Goosegate

AFTER the expenses scandal, many members of the public might think their local MP deserves a good slap.

But if claiming for duckhouses was not bad enough, they should steel themselves for the latest sordid saga to come out of Westminster: Goosegate.

For the uninitiated, the verb "goose" is slang for touching someone's bottom in a surprising manner.

The scandal involved a Tory, some tartan in the form of a Scottish Labour MP and an outburst on Twitter.

And it exposes how for, some female MPs, the atmosphere in the Commons is less Punch and Judy and more slap and tickle.

The opening act is like scene from a rather more upmarket version of Benny Hill. Labour MP Natascha Engel revealed she had been slapped on the bottom while queuing for her lunch in the Commons dining room.

The approach reportedly came from Tory grandee Sir Nicholas Winterton, who has come in for criticism over his expenses claims.

She allegedly told colleagues: "I can't believe it, Sir Nicholas just slapped my bottom."

The claim was broadcast via social networking site twitter by Labour MP Kerry McCarthy.

She told readers: "A knight of the realm no less – slapped a shocked female Labour MP firmly on the bottom."

Ms Engel said: "This is very embarrassing. I would rather not be slapped on the backside. But he is an old man. It is not the end of the world."

Sir Nicholas, 71, who is married to fellow Tory MP Ann Winterton, said he could not recall the incident but nor could be deny it.

He insisted if it had happened, the gesture was meant out of "affection and regard".

"Can I remember this incident? No. Can I categorically deny it? No."

But even if the knight was not prepared to absolve himself, one of his Tory female colleagues decided to ride to his rescue.

Within hours of the incident being "tweeted", Tory MP Nadine Dorries said she doubted Sir Nicholas would do such a thing. "The thought that Sir Nick would slap anyone's bottom is just ridiculous, and if he did, it wldnt (sic] be a Labour bum," she wrote.

But the MP, who recently won £1,000 in libel damages from former No 10 spindoctor Damian McBride, then said she believed the worst offenders were Labour MPs.

She said she had been propositioned by a Scottish Labour MP in an exchange that had left her feeling "disgusted".

She said: "Time for me to start tweeting outrageous stuff Labour MPs have really done and said.

"A Scottish Labour MP walked up to me and said 'You were in my dreams … Would you like to know what you were doing?' I refused. He walked out of the room with me and insisted from two paces behind in telling me, disgusting me."

Last night, it was unclear who the Scottish Labour MP was.

Yesterday, she said: "If Labour want a war, then they will get a war. I have so many stories about Labour MPs that I've never told."

But it was the reaction of Sir Nicholas that perhaps best encapsulated the row. He told journalists: "My God, parliament must be stooping if this sort of incident is reported."